Rainbow Noah

We tried for 8 months to get pregnant, everything was looking great, so on May 26, 2018 we went for an elective ultrasound just for fun. I was almost 10 weeks pregnant with baby #2. We were so excited to see our little peanut again after seeing a healthy heartbeat of 150 bpm at our 8-week appointment. When the lady couldn’t find a heartbeat and said the baby was only measuring 8 weeks she advised that we go to the hospital to confirm. Our hearts were broken. We drove straight to the hospital where after an extensive ultrasound and many hours of waiting our worst fear had been confirmed. Our little baby had passed almost 2 weeks ago and my body hadn’t realized it yet. It was a holiday weekend so I was given 3 options, wait until my body realized the baby had passed on its own, take the pills and pass everything at home, or have a D&C after the holiday weekend. I chose the pills because I just wanted it to be over with. It was the most painful and heartbreaking experience I have ever experienced. It felt like being in labor and I was throwing up from the pain. Thankfully a few days later an ultrasound confirmed that everything had passed. We were able to bury the baby under a memorial stone at my parents’ house. I had a strong feeling it was a boy, just like my first, so we chose the name Noah for him. I still struggle every day with the loss of my little boy. Some days are easier than others, but it still weighs heavily on me each and every day. We don’t have our rainbow baby yet, but hoping that someday it’ll happen to help heal these wounds. Baby Noah was due December 26, 2018 so Christmas this year is going to be especially hard.

-Aly M.