Balance what is it and how do I get it?
"How do you balance it ALL?"
This is probably the most frequently asked question I get on social media via direct messages, so it seems fitting that the theme of March is balance. And as I am writing this, the kids are in the background fighting, my husband is complaining about homeschooling, I'm listening to music, the dogs are barking...such is life!
By definition, balance is an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady. Basically, this is what we as mothers and women try to do, hold steady, stay on our feet and keep the weight of our daily chaos balanced. So, how do we achieve this thing called balance? Honestly...we don't. Yep, I said it. We don't.
Before you stop reading because of my lack of faith in this magical thing called "balance", hear me out. I believe we're rock stars as women and we're queens of multitasking like a mother, but that doesn't equal balance. If we're all being honest, there are areas of our life that at any given time have more weight and time put in then others and that's ok. This is what I believe is the real obtainable balance.
Sometimes our children will need more time and attention than our jobs or passion projects, so shift the focus to them. Sometimes our spouses need a little extra attention, so work on getting a date night or a trip put together and change the weight and focus to them. Work, I know not everyone has the option to not fully to balance and focus on their job, but there are indeed times when the weight needs to shift away from this area to focus on others where "balance" is lacking and demanding some attention. For a long time, I was hyper-focused on building my brand to the extent that my children and my husband honestly suffered. I lacked any "balance," yet I thought I was killing it doing all of the things, but I wasn't. I needed to shift my time and focus back to them to obtain a little of that magical thing called balance. There are times where work demands time, and that's my most precious commodity. I'm fortunate now to have a small team in place so that I can shift my weight into the areas of my life like family when it's most needed.
The concept of balance will look different to everyone there's no secret sauce or formula to how you get it or how you use it. I believe it's a real juggling act shifting weight from one area to another in your life is what real balance is, noticing areas that need you more than others at a particular time. You can't be all the things mama all the time but you can do what you can each day, and that's good enough.
The hardest part of finding "balance" and juggling it is making sure YOU are a factor. Yes, YOU! The demands of wife, mother, friend, sister, and human are so much for just one person. So, make sure you factor in some of that magic balance and weight in your direction too, or you'll crack. This was an area I honestly ignored until meltdown town would hit me. I now recognize when I need a little "balance" for myself and while it's hard to get personal time I practice simple self-care tactics to shift weight in my direction when I feel unbalanced.
I genuinely believe that there's zero perfect balance in life; everything in moderation is what I preach. People get so fixated on achieving this "balance" that they drive themselves crazy. Take a moment to process all the balls you have up in the air. Shift some focus to the ones struggling to stay up and once it's doing well, shift on to the next one mama.
Lastly, learning to let things go a little will help obtain some level of "balance" because like I said above, you're only one person and you can't be all the things, all the time, all at once. It's not possible. Tackle each day and each area as it needs you. Trust that you're doing the best you can even if your best isn't tackling it ALL of it, ALL of the time.
To me, this is what balance looks like: doing my best daily, tackling what I can, when I can and IF I can. Merely giving each area as much weight as I can and allowing other areas to get what they need when they need it most!